Tok Baba.

Just recently it was my late Pa's birthday. I remember so vividly how he used to sit on his favourite chair, reading newspaper and drinking hot tea in the morning. I would come down from my room, sit across him and eat my breakfast.

It feels like it was just yesterday that I had my last hug from him. But no, it has been 15 years, thus far. How I've missed him dearly, how we have all been missing him terribly.

He was the best father I could ever ask for. He was fun, loving, cool (taking me to concerts and in fact took us to meet Micheal Jackson (!!)), yet so garang at the same time. He was always buying us clothes from various (luxurious) brands (he has a thing for these items so no surprises his daughters follow suit - if only we have that much of money to actually "follow suit" LOL). 

In a lot of ways, I am very much like him, so my mom says. He was such an inspiration, in all sense of the word. If only my children had the chance to meet this amazing man. Can imagine the love he'll shower my kids, only Allah knows I guess.

You would have been 60 years old this year, Pa. Happy birthday. May Allah place you with the pious and in the highest level of Jannah. May He too, shower you with endless amount of Rahmah, always. With abundance of love, from all of us - Mama, us kids, your grandchildren, nephews, nieces and the whole lot of us.

 

 

Pictures were taken during last year's Ramadhan when we took Khaisah to "meet" Tok Baba for the first time. 

Al fatihah.

The Birth of Zahir Niyaz - Part Two.

Date: Thursday, 21st November 2013.

It was 630 am when the midwife came to check my temperature, blood pressure, contractions and my dilation. But I prevented her from doing a VE cause I simply don't like it when the midwife does that cause it's a lot more uncomfortable and definitely painful. She tried to coax me out of it, saying that the doctor will tell her off for not doing her "job" but I insisted that I only wanted my gynae to do it. And so she relented.

At 745 am, my "knight in my shining armour" gynae showed up. Boy, I was relieved as hell cause I literally waited for him since 9 pm (10 hours!) He VE-ed me and asked the nurse for the catheter (I think) to break my water bag and whilst he was doing that, I asked,

"Doctor, are you going to induce me?"

"No, I'm not going to induce you. You're 8cm dilated."

"Whattttttt?" (My ONLY reaction to that statement)

"I'm surprised you could withstand the pain, not asking for any medical relief. I don't think epidural is possible (past 5cm) and perhaps the only medical assistance available for you is enthonox (gas). Well done! You're going into labour in an hour or two."

The midwives quickly prepared me for labour and 15 minutes later, I was already in labour room, 8cm dilated. Breathing ridiculously and religiously harder. Every half an hour, the midwife will be checking up on me, trying to "induce" me to use the gas but I refused because the lamaze breathing requires me to breathe out the pain during contractions but the gas requires to the exact opposite - which is to suck it all in, hoping the gas will make me "forget" that I was in pain. Such a fallacy, that gas! To one extent I got so annoyed with the midwife that I sternly said "No" and that was when she stopped. Good god, finally! Of course I didn't spare my husband from the occasional killer stares, finger pointing and threats from me hahaha. Sorry B!

4 hours later, my dilation remained stagnant. At 12pm, I was still at 8cm. My gynae then sent the anaesthetist to get me the epidural (apparently I was told that I might get burnt out from pushing later as I have been tolerating the pain since the night before) but I insisted to proceed WITHOUT the epidural. My internal monologue was saying, "Ah c'mon, it's already 8cm, how long more can this go on cause I just need 2 freaking cm left to dilate? What if the dilation becomes a success and the epidural did not kick in on time?" So yeah, NO was the answer and I kept on breathing. Little did I know that the reason why the anaesthetist came was to prepare me from emergency c-section, if need be.

At about 1pm, the gynae checked on me and informed that he had to do stretching of the cervix. Sound so easy peasy isn't it? I didn't quite understand what that was because the video on Laugh and Learn on Childbirth didn't teach me that. So I was rather clueless of what was going on down there but I just listened to the doctor. I was told to push so the doctor could "dilate" the cervix for me using his fingers. I swear it was NOT not painful at all. The moment that "little procedure" ended, my dilation progressed normally. Then he mentioned that my baby's head was not facing the optimum i.e. not facing down but instead facing to the right, which hence require the baby to be delivered with the assistance of vacuum extraction. Here I am, the layman, thinking that the vacuum will only latch on to the cervix, not knowing that it will be inserted inside! Allahuakbar, the pain, was the worst and most painful thing I have ever experienced! At that juncture, I was pleading in tears, asking my gynae to stop because it was so, so painful. After a few more pushes, I heard the baby's cry. I could only whisper, "Allahuakbar, sakitnya…" as I lost my voice due to intense pushing.

The pain from the labour was throbbing that the whole post birth of stitching, jabbing and what not didn't matter and were painless. All I know is I can already see and hold my son. Praise to Allah SWT, Alhamdulillah, I am a mother of two now. Born at 37 weeks and 2 days, on Thursday, 21st November 2013, 3 weeks earlier from the EDD.

I couldn't have done it without my husband's support through and through. Thank you B for everything, but please next time, if you want to have another baby, do give me an advanced notice. Hahaha.

The Birth of Zahir Niyaz - Part One.

Date: Monday, 18th November 2013.

Diarrhoea. 5 times that day so I decided to give my gynae a visit. Asked the doctor whether I was having a premature sign of labour cause I remember so vividly that diarrhoea was "the" signal that I was going for labour when I was carrying Khaisah. 

Gynae said, "Oh it's just normal diarrhoea that's inducing braxton hicks contractions (re: false contraction). So you shouldn't worry, the diarrhoea should subside by the end of the day. Baby's still not engaged."

With a sigh of relief, I exited the gynae's clinic. Oh by the way, I was 36 weeks and 6 days on this date. 

Date: Tuesday, 19th November 2013.

Apparently still going to the loo. What the heck, I thought. It's just diarrhoea. Can't be "cleansing of the bowels" yet. I was still working and driving around with a big belly, mind you and today, I was on my 37th week of pregnancy. 

Date: Wednesday, 20th November 2013.

Still getting diarrhoea with stronger contractions. It can't be (cleansing), I thought. That morning at work (yes, I was still working), I felt something was amiss with my body. Body felt achy, legs felt as if they were 10 times heavier, I was getting what I thought as "menstrual cramps" and the numerous visit to the ladies which weren't that far felt so laborious and tiring! So I decided to head back to mom's during lunch to get some rest. Had my lunch, rested a lil while watching tv and for all you know, it was already time to get back to work. 

Tried to get up and descend the stairs but I couldn't. The pain was just so intense! Decided to take the half day off. Slept for 2 hours that noon and when I woke up, the contractions were just getting crazier and crazier. But I was so relaxed I thought it was one of those strong braxton hicks contractions and left my thought at that. Took my shower, waited for my husband to come home from work and Khaisah from the school and had my dinner. 

It was then time to go back to my place but I was immovable. It was so gruelling to move from the dining table to the door. Mom insisted that I stay at her place cause she somehow or rather felt that I was going to deliver real soon but the confident me said, "No lah ma, I'm okay. But to be safe, okay, I'll go back to my place to take my three-quarter packed hospital bag and some other stuff and I'll be back here." Mom agreed. So Hashley and I left, leaving Khaisah at mom's. 

It was on our way back to Setia Alam that I started to time my contractions. It was 5 minutes apart and 5 minutes apart sure is an active sign of labour. Guess what I did? 

I called one of my best girls, Farissa, who's a doctor and confidently asked, "Sha, I'm having 5 minutes apart contractions, you rasa I sempat tak nak go home and take my stuff? Tak beranak kan?" 

Sha said (not verbatimly), "Hey, tak jam ke nak balik Setia Alam? 5 minutes apart contraction is a sign of labour and since this is your second pregnancy, labour maybe cepat. You should be at the hospital!"

Boy was I confident or what! 

HAHA. 

My husband immediately made a u-turn and headed straight to the hospital. He was stuttering (panic la tu hehe) to get the nurse to wheel me to the maternity ward (I was walking step. by. step. by the way haha) The midwife did the CTG scan for 30 minutes - contractions every 3 - 4 minutes) also VE-ed me and found that I was merely 1 cm dilated. She spoke to my gynae and guess what, I was to be admitted. Gynae said he'll meet me in the morning. It was 9 p.m. at that time. 

HAHA.

With no clothes, no hospital bag, nothing, nada. Husband in shorts and tee, I was in a loose tee and maxi skirt. That was it. You know hospitals are crazy cold, what more at night! Called our parents and informed only very close friends that I was admitted. Parents in law came in to accompany me whilst my husband went back home to fetch all the stuff that I had packed. That night, the contractions were just getting more and more intense, I could only rely on the Lamaze breathing technique and my husband's help to massage my back (my gosh, the back pain was a motheerrrrrr …!) Technically, I didn't get proper sleep that night. 

**Okay, I shall continue Part 2 in another post lest I will bore you with this already-lengthy post. Stay tuned, alright :)

Zahir Niyaz bin Hashley.

Salam all,

Introducing our new bundle of joy who came into this world on 21st November 2013, alhamdulillah. A lot to be updated, but for now, this will give you a slight hint of what I have been up to ;)

Thank you all for the well wishes, prayers and love given to us. We 4 truly appreciate it <3 Birthing story will be up in due course hehe.

Love and light,
Me

Khaisah's Movie Experiences.

 

We took Khaisah for her first movie ever during raya, in between open houses, at Pavilion. She has been asking for us to take her watch "big murfs" - big because she saw the ad on a billboard and murfs is smurf (she can't pronounce it correctly just as yet lol). What my husband and I discovered was that we were wrong when thought she wouldn't sit still. She was concentrating throughout all the adverts and when the movie began, Hashley asked her,

"Khaisah, best tak?"

Guess what was her reply?

"Daddy, sssshhh" (with fingers pressed onto lips)

LOL. 

Her daddy was told to shut up hahaha.

Well she survived 30 minutes watching the show though before she knocked out. So so cute. But good try for a first timer, well done Khaisah! :)

At the end of the day, mummy and daddy yang end up watching the movie -__- lol!

And this was taken recently when we brought her to watch a cartoon which was unfamiliar to her - Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 at Setia City Mall. It was a 3D movie. 

30 minutes after movie started. 

"Mummy, where's murfs?"

"That's a different movie, Khaisah"

30 minutes later.

"Mummy, where's murfs?"

"Oh not this movie Khaisah. We can watch Smurf at another time okay?"

Silence.

5 minutes later.

"Mummy, tak nak watch ni. Nak go home" (tears rolling down her cheeks)

LOL. Sian baby mummy tak suka this cartoon :( But to be fair, it was a bit serious pun this cartoon.

So we went home after an hour of watching the movie. The end.

And I Turned 28, Alhamdulillah.

Alhamdulillah, another year has passed. I turned 28 on the 6th September which coincidentally falls on the day of my birth day, a Friday. I have much to be thankful for and much more to look forward to, I can only pray for the best and receive blessings from Allah SWT in the years to come, insya Allah.

This year, I decided to take leave on my birthday and do whatever it is that I felt like doing. I had manicure, pedicure, massage, waxing, wash and blow my hair in mind but time was pressing so I only managed to get do waxing, threading and wash and blow. I was actually rushing for Yuna's concert at Istana Budaya that night. In between the "pamperings" I had to go to the office to drop off some stuff up for sale as the office was organising a bazaar. My colleague was such a darling she helped me sell my stuff and proceeds from the sale went to charity. Glad I could contribute something.

Bday lunch with the parentals at Tram Car, PJ.

Us at Yuna's concert.

Stellar performance by Yuna. I must admit she's a legend in the making.

Photo exhibition on sale.

 
The very next day, family treated me for a sumptuous lunch at Hard Rock Cafe - apparently I crave for the 32 bucks worth of hot fudge brownie (I'm salivating here as I type lol) every time that I am pregnant. And fyi, HRC has a sentimental value to me. It brings back memories whenever I'm there as it was once a place where I grew up having family dinners and lunches when my late father was still around.

The last time I was there was 2 years ago when I was carrying Khaisah. I hope to make it a more frequent thing (okay maybe not so frequent considering the price of the food now has hiked up) to relive the fond memories I have with my late Pa. And the food never once failed me. Imagine me eating 3 pieces of fat juicy fajitas all by myself. So, so good I tell you. Yums!

 

 

 

 

After lunch, my husband treated us (me and lil missy) for a night stay at Impiana Hotel KLCC. Told (more like pressing him) I wanted a break/holiday and so he brought me here.

 

Checked in. Relaxed on the comfy bed for a bit whilst Hubs was busy entertaining Khaisah in the bath tub haha. We had tea with Hashley's uncle and aunty that evening and off we went to KLCC for a stroll (more like me window shopping for potential year end bags haha) and dinner.

 

We spent the rest of the Sunday after checking out, at home just relaxing. One of the most relaxing weekends and birthday I have had in a long time. Thanks Hashley for the birthday treat. You know I love you always, even when I don't say it, even when I'm angry lol <3

My Lil Missy Turns Two :)

Since we had a big do for her 1st birthday, we thought about down scaling this time and have one with her school friends at the nursery. It was indeed much easier planning for this party instead as I was only asked to prepare a birthday cake and party packs (extra decors, if I wanted to). And because she was so into "wheels on the bus" of late (then), I ordered a moist chocolate cake in a shape of a bus from none other than Aunty Abrina. 

I initially thought of having a 3D cake but thought about it again and decided to just go with this one. Not as pretty as I was hoping for but surely did taste awesome.

My husband came to my office around 3 and by 3ish, we were already at the nursery helping out with whatever that we can. Lil missy was in the play room, oblivious of what was going to happen next. When she came out, she was taken by surprise and burst into tears! Aww, she was surprised! ;)

All the other children followed suit and sat on the mini tables and chairs and sang the Happy Birthday song led by the teachers. Khaisah just kept on weeping (so sentimental this one hehe) and mellowed down when it was time to blow the candles and cut the cake.

 

She then handed out party packs to her friends, battling between shyness and happiness at the same time, hence why the finger was in the mouth as evidenced in top right photo. 

One with mummy and daddy :)

Happy 2nd birthday, Khaisah. Semoga Allah panjangkan umur, sihat selalu, murah rezeki and menjadi anak yang baik, berguna and soleheh. All my love is for you my lil best friend, always and forever <3

Happy Birthday, Hashbund.

 

 

 

 

It was a solat jemaah and tazkirah birthday for my husband and eldest and closest aunty who share the same birth date. Hence why I was in hijab (from Smashing Scarves) :) Tazkirah was given by Imam Shariff from Mecca, a witty, modern imam I must say. His topic was on the importance of solat and ikhlas in performing it (if I remember them correctly). No nonsense perli-perli like zaman sekarang's ustazs. Always a pleasure to meet him (he's a family friend, in case if you're wondering).

His birthday celebration was followed by a day off of work and a little tea time treat at Dip n Dip at Bangsar. It was our first time (still think Max Brenner wins hands down) and who else but none other than lil missy who was licking her chocolate coated fingers hehe.

 

 

Happy birthday B. May Allah bless you with all great things in life in dunia and thereafter, insya Allah <3

Love always,
Yours truly.

Khaisah's First Trip to Aquaria.

They say when you have a child, your time, money and energy just go there - to the child. 

Indeed.

H and I took a day off last December just to bring our little girl to Aquaria, knowing how fascinated she is with aquatic animals.

Quick not so new tip: be the early birds so you get to avoid the larger crowd come noon.

The last time I was here was at least 5 years ago. Things are very much the same as before, although this time around, it was more meaningful. I was with a family of my own. How life has evolved.. :)

So Khaisah did enjoy herself. She was "pish"-ing, "papapai"ing (read: butterfly) and even went to the reptile section which I absolutely avoided. Haha! 

 

Thanks to daddykins for taking us there xox

A Year Older, A Year Wiser.

Of course my husband did something for me for my 27th birthday. He did something that I haven't had for the longest time.

It was held at Las Carretas, Damansara because I have been wanting to eat there for my birthday. So he took me there, not knowing that he had planned a so-called "surprise" birthday dinner for me with my girlfriends (and partners).

So-called surprise because apparently they do not have basement parking that was nearby the resto. And I saw everyone's car parked outside the restaurant and my husband went like "oh dammit" haha! It was nevertheless very sweet of him to have organized such a birthday dinner. We haven't celebrated with my friends for at least the past 2 years.

Thanks sayang. I really had a great time and I truly appreciate your effort. Love always x

Ps: What was his birthday gift for me? Well you gotta stay tune :)