Being Married.

This post is going to be about what being married does to me, after a year being in it.

I may be new in this area but rest assured that I do have something to share with you, if not many, an incy wincy bit. It's all for sharing so I hope you take it with an open mind :)

I got married on 5th June 2010, just over a year ago to my long time best friend. How it happened, for those who have been regulars here, you know the story but for those who are new on OB&W, you can find the story somehow or rather on previous posts. 

As I mentioned, it has been a year for us, syukur Alhamdulillah, we are still relatively new in this sphere, still learning about each other in every possible way, every day. 

They say being married puts you in the right track, or at least try to get you to be in the right track. Right track means taking the right actions at the right time (however you define the word 'right' since it's pretty much open for interpretation) ie. settling down with the person who's supposedly to be the right one, not the perfect one for you, then doing the right things like our parents did - creating little ones (little misses or misters), purchasing properties, pretty much planning for the future. Before that,  we should be matured enough to know that there's no such thing as Mr. Perfect for us, but instead, Allah is Great, he creates one that's right for you, hence Mr. Right, insya Allah.

For me, I don't think I can ever accomplish buying a property at the age of 25 if I hadn't married Hashley. I don't think I'd be thinking or managing my finances right if it wasn't because of him too. I know I shop here and there sometimes (sorry baby, I'm still a woman lol) but really, property? Me? It's an achievement I never knew I could realize, especially at of such a young age. 

Besides that, if it wasn't him supporting me through it all, I don't think Laiesa and Bungaa would even exist.

Above all, this precious little baby in this big tummy of mine would not exist if it wasn't for Hashley (like duhh hehe). That, I know for sure will be my ultimate achievement that no one but him and most significantly Allah SWT can ever give me, insya Allah.

But one must know that relationships furthermore marriage aren't always sweet and sugarcoated. Of course we have our regular fights and misunderstandings. We argue, we come to blows over things that some times even don't matter but each time, we learn from each other and from each ordeal. It's unreal to see eye to eye all the time, I mean c'mon, if that happens, something is wrong somewhere. 

Being married means sharing each and every single minute thing - from things to character, from finances to knowledge, from this end to that end. I must say that this is the essence of marriage - 'sharing'. You literally have to share every part of your life - your family, friends, stuff etc. but I still believe that you shouldn't give up your worth, pride and dignity as a woman yourself. Your identity should never be given up, instead, it should be shared. Here I must point out that you should never give up your life, your identity, stooping yourself low - or selling your "cheap" just for the sake of your husband. You should be with a person who inspires and aspires you to become the wife that you should be in the eyes of Allah at the same time, never lose yourself. I've seen friends who'd rather play dumb just to satisfy their other halves but these friends are very smart people. You know what I mean here right?

At the same time, bukan senang nak terima seseorang if we tak redha dengan apa Allah dah tetapkan at the very beginning. So when your jodoh has arrived, how ever and to whom it might be, redha first. This is all part of Qada' and Qadar that we must accept because it is a well known fact that Allah has got it all planned for us and we are just his servants, living the life that He has set for us. Who we are to marry, time to marry, how our marriage will be, our lives, etc are pre-destined.

I know we women get pretty excited (sometimes OTT with it) with weddings but truthfully speaking, marriage that comes after the wedding is the most important thing. It's that, that matters. Some people get really crazy planning for their wedding, and then have one helluva wedding thereafter - just for the sake of wanting to be married or be apart of people who are already married and then what happens? You can't stand the sight of the person to whom you're married to and gets divorced. This, I fear the most. Now we wouldn't want that to happen don't we, so you get married when Allah says it's time, likewise to getting pregnant. These are the things that you can't force if it's not meant to be, don't you agree?

All I'm saying is that being married - from the start of planning to marry up to the stage where you're IN it, takes a lot of sacrifices. Mostly for the betterment of all but with the support of family and friends (the right kinda friends) will get you through it. There are times that God will test you to the brim and be assured that He will not test you with the things He knows you can't handle. 

Redha, love, share, tolerate, trust and companionship are what I hold on tight to since day one of being married. I hope it will become yours too, insya Allah. May the first year be the start to all great things to come for me, Hashley and our little one, wallahuallam.